Music nerd (for practically the entire FBR label, punk rock, pop punk, old rock, and classics). I love love LOVE the big three TV fandoms and sadly that's all I really need to say sometimes.

 

A few months back, I was asked to participate in a debate on the topic of whether men should have to pay on dates. (I was “the feminist.”) It turned out that the male debater and I didn’t really disagree much on that topic. I said that, generally, whoever asks the other person out pays for that date, and then at some point couples generally transition into sharing costs in whatever way works for them. He was actually pretty happy to pay for first dates; he just wanted women to say thank you and to not use him. I had no problem with that.

I think he said that women should offer to pay half, knowing they’ll probably be turned down. I said, well, sometimes — but what if the other person invited you someplace really expensive? What if you agreed to a date with the guy and he spent an hour saying crazy racist shit to you and you felt like you couldn’t escape? This is what led to our real disagreement.

The male debater felt strongly that if a woman wasn’t interested in a second date, she should say so on the spot. If the man says, “Let’s do this again sometime,” the woman shouldn’t say, “Sure, great,” and then back out later. I said that that was a nice ideal, but that he should keep in mind that most women spent most of their lives living in low-level fear of physical aggression from men. I think about avoiding rape (or other violence) every time I walk home from the subway, every time there’s an unexpected knock at the door, and certainly every time I piss off an unhinged man. So, if I were on a date with a man who I felt was unbalanced, creepy, overly aggressive, or possibly violent, and he asked if I wanted to “do this again sometime,” I would say whatever I felt would avoid conflict. And then I would leave, wait awhile, and hope that letting him down politely a few days later would avoid his finding me and turning my skin into an overcoat.

The male debater was furious that I had even brought this up. He felt that the threat of violence against women was irrelevant, and that I was playing some kind of “rape card” as a debate trick. He got angrier and angrier as we argued. I also got angrier and angrier, although I worked hard to keep speaking in a calm and considered way. He was shouting and cutting me off when I tried to speak. I pointed out that the debater himself was displaying exactly the sort of behavior that would make me very uncomfortable on a date. THAT made him livid.

He then called me “passive-aggressive.”

I was genuinely taken aback. “Actually,” I said, “I call this ‘behaving myself.’” It’s a lot of work to stay calm when you’re just as furious as the other person, and that other person is shouting at you. I felt that I was acting like a grownup — at some emotional cost to myself — and I wanted credit, not insults, for being able to speak in a normal tone of voice when I was having to explain things like, “We can’t tell who the rapists are before they turn violent, so sometimes we have to be cautious with men who do not intend to harm us.”

Bullish Life: When Men Get Too Emotional To Have A Rational Argument  (via nudityandnerdery)

This point is ALWAYS worth reblogging. This issue at hand is worth posting on every street corner and making ever male that you know read it. Because this is so frustrating to have completely ignored. 

(via primalheart)

consulting-cannibal:

i hope everyone had a wonderful day looking back on our little terrifying nerdy angel dumpling’s journey!! he needs cuddles, a cup of coffee, and an honorary MoL Dead Guy Robe

Things start off bad. Very, very bad. Deputy Parrish wakes up in his squad car to the foreboding splashing of flammable liquids. If there are going to be any liquids liberally sprayed upon Deputy Handsome, they should not be the flammable kind. For suggestions for acceptable fluids, please see Ao3.

quaintcastiel:

winjennster:

midget-banana:

xkatastrophicx:

But imagine Cas being able to leave his vessel like demons do.

So SAMs haut eating lunch in the bunker one day when a fuCKING CLOUD OF BLACK SMOKE FLIES BY FOLLOWED BY A BRIGHT BLUE LIGHT AND THEY JUST FUCKING CHASE EACH OTHER AROUND THE BUNKER

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HOLY SHIT YOU GO HARRY POTTER FANDOM! YOU GIFFED US!

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(Source: bucky-withdrawls)

shanology:

cockedtail:

i need more tony stark facing his anxiety

more clint barton with his hearing aid

more bruce banner growing and dealing

more natasha romanoff accepting her new family

more sam wilson dealing with his own past

more bucky barnes becoming bucky again

Basically we want Avengers: The Therapy Sessions